Ever wonder if your love story is a happily-ever-after or headed for splitsville? A viral TikTok trend, the “Bird Test,” claims to offer a glimpse into your relationship’s future based on how your partner reacts to your casual observations. But is there any truth to this theory, or is it just another social media fad?
The “Bird Test” suggests that a partner’s response to your seemingly insignificant comments, like pointing out a bird outside, reveals long-term compatibility. While it might sound light-hearted, there’s actually some science backing this up.
Dr. John Gottman, a household name in relationship psychology, offers valuable insight into the “Bird Test” with his groundbreaking theory of “bids for emotional connection.” These bids, as Dr. Gottman explains, are the cornerstones of healthy emotional communication in a relationship.expand_more They can be either verbal (“Wow, that sunset is incredible!”) or non-verbal (a gentle hand squeeze) and represent attempts to connect with your partner on a deeper level.expand_more
The “Bird Test” resonates strongly with Dr. Gottman’s research on bids for connection.expand_more His studies, conducted alongside Dr. Robert Levenson, categorized couples into two distinct groups: “masters” (those in happy, flourishing relationships) and “disasters” (couples who either separated or remained unhappy). The crucial factor Dr. Gottman identified? Attentiveness.
“Master” couples responded positively to their partner’s bids a staggering 86% of the time, compared to a measly 33% for “disaster” couples. This underlines the importance of being truly present and engaged with your partner in your relationship.
Responding positively to your partner’s bids (acknowledging, turning towards) strengthens your connection in numerous ways: trust, intimacy, passion, and even a fulfilling sex life.expand_more In essence, it fosters a safe space for open emotional exchange.
So, the next time your significant other casually points out a bird, shares a detail about their day, or offers a subtle gesture of affection, pay attention. Turning towards these bids (and having them reciprocated) creates a solid foundation for a happy and healthy relationship.pen_sparkexpand_more